Childrearing: Preventing “Potty Mouth”

By Michele Blandino

At one time, the practice of cursing – the addition of vulgar or otherwise foul language – into a conversation was a rite of passage associated with children entering their high school years.

Unfortunately, this trend has changed for the worse. Today, it is not uncommon to hear expletive-peppered language in the schoolyards of middle schools and even grammar schools.

There are a number of factors that have contributed toward this negative trend. First, our country’s standards for what is considered to be acceptable and unacceptable language have decreased. Words that were not considered acceptable twenty years ago are now commonly used on primetime network television as well as in every day conversation. Want to know exactly how bad this trend has gotten? Recently, when describing the conditions encountered in the third-world country in which he was ministering, a priest visiting my church used the word “sucks”.

Clearly, things have gotten bad.

So, how can parents communicate the importance of choosing proper – and polite – language when seemingly everyone around them has allowed their language to deteriorate? It’s not easy, but fortunately, it’s also not impossible.

End it Quickly

The first, and most effective, way to correct this problem is to end it before it becomes a habit. This means that if your child comes home with some newly acquired vocabulary that you find to be unacceptable, be clear that you will not tolerate that type of language. While you will certainly meet some resistance – particularly if the words in question are those that are commonly used on television – be firm and consistent; nothing is more confusing for a child than a parent who is inconsistent in their approach to matters such as this. If you make it clear from the beginning that you will not allow foul language in your home, your child will be less likely to continue using the offending words. This brings us to our next point.

Teach by Example

While it seems obvious, many parents fail to realize that their use of bad language sets an example for their children. If you expect your children to refrain from using these types of words, you must do so as well – at least while in their company. And if you do accidentally let one slip into your conversation, be sure to quickly correct yourself and apologize to your child.

Quiz Them

Ask your child where they heard the words they are using. While you certainly cannot shield them from everything, if you identify the source as a particular television show, computer game or other form of entertainment, you may be able to limit their exposure to it.

Another effective tool is to ask them if they know the definition of the words they are using. Chances are, they won’t, but if they do, follow up by asking them to use the in a sentence. How effective is this? Well, you can ask the nun who teaches in our parish high school. Frustrated by the constant use of bad language in her classroom by a particular student, one day she wrote the offending word – the “F” word – on the blackboard in huge letters. When she finished, she asked the student to define the word. When he resisted, she asked him to use the word in a sentence that also contained the phrase “my mother”. Needless to say, she never had another problem with bad language in her classroom.