How to be a Caregiver
By Sherril Steele-Carlin
Mary Lee Fulkerson is a well-known basket maker in Northern Nevada. But lately, her life has been more about caregiving than basket weaving, and it's beginning to tell on her life, and on her art. Fulkerson, a grandmother of five, not only is the primary caregiver for her 89-year-old mother who lives in an assisted living facility, her mentally handicapped brother also lives with Fulkerson and her husband.
On any given day, Fulkerson runs a few errands for her mother, then helps her brother with various tasks on his way to moving out into his own apartment. In the meantime, Fulkerson finds very little time for herself, let alone her creative side, and she misses her art more than anything.
Some Options
Fortunately, Fulkerson has some options for taking care of her mother and brother, while still finding some time for herself along the way. Fulkerson is determined to keep up with her art even though she has to struggle to find the time. She says, "I always have a piece in the works, and creating art is, I think, the most fulfilling thing in my life." Having an outside interest or some kind of creative release is key to coping with caregiving. Anyone who spends a majority of their time taking care of a loved one knows what a struggle it can be to balance time, but making sure you have some time for you and your spouse or friends is incredibly important. Other caregivers find that talking with other people in the same situation, or simply a night out with a friend or spouse can lift them up emotionally. Caregiving is not easy, but with emotional support from those around you, you can still be an effective caregiver while making sure you have time for yourself along the way.
Some Suggestions
Make sure you take time for yourself, and give yourself a chance to recharge and regenerate your energy, or you won't be helping yourself of your loved one. A mentally and physically exhausted caregiver is little help in the long run. Try keeping a journal of your caregiving activities. It may help you see where you can consolidate your energies, and it can also give you a good place to blow off steam. Try getting outside and letting nature heal. Fulkerson notes, "Yesterday I noticed the trees were beginning to turn green and blossoms are everywhere, and I immediately thought about taking mom for a drive around town to see spring's arrival."
Taking care of a loved one can be very stressful, but it can also be one of the most rewarding things you've ever done. Keeping everything in perspective helps, and so does support from friends and family.
An Online Source To Learn More About Caregiving
Many colleges and universities offer classes on caregiving, and so do many local service organizations. Find out if there are any classes or seminars in your area by calling your local college or service organizations. For example, in Los Angeles, caregivers can contact the Los Angeles Caregiver Resource Center, through the University of Southern California. They offer a retreat each year for caregivers. You can find out more at their web site:
