Soccer: Observations from a First Year Soccer Mom

By Michele Blandino

I never really liked the term “soccer mom”. For me, it conjures up images of "minivan driving, folding chair and cooler packed with enough snacks to feed a small army" women who spend the entire duration of the game yakking with other "minivan driving, folding chair and cooler packed with enough snacks to feed a small army" women rather than watching the action on the field.

I don’t drive a mini-van, but I am a mom and my daughter does play soccer, so I guess on a certain level, the name fits.

Last fall, my 7 year-old daughter played her first season of in-town recreation soccer. At the time we registered her, my husband and I figured it would be a good way for Jennifer to get some exercise while meeting some new friends. We were right. Twice a week – at practice and at the Saturday morning game – she got the chance to run around outside. She also met some nice new little girls and was even invited to some birthday parties.

What we didn’t count on, however, was the fact that since Jennifer didn’t play soccer in kindergarten, she was already considered to be behind the other players. That’s right, in first grade and already behind.

At the first practice, Jennifer and the three other girls who were similarly disadvantaged were told of the Dolphins’ rich history. “We haven’t lost a game yet.” their coach informed them. Talk about pressure.

As the season wore on and the girls continued to win, the pressure of continuing “the streak” as it became known was starting to take its toll on the coach. When the games got close – and they often did – the less experienced players were benched in favor of the veterans. By the end of the season, Jennifer sat out far more than she played, even though the majority of the other girls played the whole game.

Needless to say, Jennifer will be playing on a different team next season.

The sad thing is, I’m sure the scenario I described takes place in youth soccer (and other sports) leagues across the country. And, even at this young age, as a parent, you can’t take anything for granted.

So, when you set out to register your child for whichever sport they will be playing, rather than mailing in the registration form, take the time to drop by the recreation office and ask a few questions. Ask about the emphasis placed on winning and losing. Ask if the children will be given equal playing time. And, ask what you should do if the season doesn’t unfold to your satisfaction.

In the end, sports are supposed to be fun for kids. Apparently, it’s up to the parents to make sure it remains that way because the coaches are too busy making sure they don’t lose.